Social Identity

We are largely defined by the society in which we live.  To say otherwise would be to say that we are not influenced by social convention.  People who do not abide by societal rules are considered non conformists.  There is merit to Hobbes’ argument about society taming people.  Without the parameters of human society guiding us into “appropriate” behavior we would be considered more barbaric.

That said, human beings have free will with which to decide how much they will conform with societal norms.  We have the ability to reason which sets us apart from other species and it also with this gift of reason that we decide what feels morally right.  In my middle-class American upbringing, it has been assumed that I would follow in my parents’ footsteps and graduate from college.  This was largely a societal assumption.  However, despite spending the latter half of my childhood in a very white, upper middle class suburb, I have made the decision to pursue this higher education in a diverse urban environment.  This was largely my choice.  Though I can easily be drawn into the unconventional, I have learned that life is easier if I stay within the confines of what is socially acceptable.

As I am only 18, I socially identify as the daughter of Mike and Betsy. I still go home when I can because that’s where I find the most comfort. They are my biological parents and the people who had the most influence on my life. Because they are people I am closest too and I owe the most to, I will feel responsible to take care of them when the time comes. However, I do feel a responsibility to this but more than anything, I want to do this. I care deeply for my parents and would only want their later years to be as comfortable and happy as possible.

            My dad was born due to an affair my grandmother had when she was very young. The man that raised my father was not his biological father but instead the man my grandmother was married to at the time and soon after divorced. My grandmother left my dad’s “father” for my dad’s biological father and has been with for some 30 years now. My dad didn’t find out that he was related to his father until he was 18 but everyone else knew since he was born. The man I call my grandfather raised my dad and was there for him. The man that my grandmother still lives with doesn’t recognize him as his own and has never done anything to facilitate my father’s life. My grandfather is a part of mine and my sister’s life too. He has gone above and beyond what he would be considered responsible to do. So morally and ethically, my dad owes anything and everything to my grandfather and nothing to the man who has ignored his existence for 47 years.