IS THERE REALLY A DIFFERENCE ?

IS THERE REALLY A DIFFERENCE?

Aaron Edwards

When asking many people this question does it make a difference whether it’s a casual fling or a long term relationship you can get many different answers.  Generally women tend to reveal more about themselves then men. Men with disclosure doesn’t happen as often. Before any physical intercourse some disclosure will be need in order things to be awkward.

Casual Fling:  In my opinion it means for romantic involvement to be at a high while your romantic investment is low. Romantic involvement means being physically active with a partner. Romantic investment means putting more into your relationship then just physical activity. The time span of a casual fling is not very both parties don’t take the time to get know each other too much. But the partners will disclose some information about themselves to be familiar with that particular partner.  I believe what is disclosed is:

·      Name

·      Age

·      Where you’re from?

·      Who you’re associated with?

·      Work

·      Cultural Background

·      Past Diseases or STDS

Long Term Relationship: In my opinion involves more of an emotional connection. Your guard is down and you begin to reveal more about yourself as time progresses with your significant other. Your concern for yourself begins to decrease and you start to collaborate with your partner as a unit.  You and your partner establish each other as couple and begin to work together to better the relationship. While you still have a physical connection with your partner the focus shifts on just have a physical relationship to a connection you may want to last for a lifetime. I believe what is disclosed in a long term relationship:

·      Family Life

·      Likes and Dislikes

·      Life Goals

·      Emotional Feelings

·      Past Relationships

·      Qualities you like in each other

Yes there is a difference, the differences between the two is you invest more as a whole in long term relationship than in casual fling because you’re willing to risk more things in long term relationship and casual fling you have not as much to lose because you see no future with the person.

Romance and Disclosure

The amount of information that is disclosed depends upon the relationship between the two people. If both parties are only looking for a one night stand or a strictly physical relationship then they should share whether or not they have an STD or if they are married or single. An STD is pertinent information that a partner has the right to know. If the man or woman could be physically harmed by getting physically involved with someone then the other person has a moral duty to tell their partner. This should be applied whether it is a one nigh stand or a long-term relationship. Also, if one or both of the parties are married should be told. If a man who is married starts flirting with a woman(not his wife), the other woman has a right to know what she is getting into. She should be able to know all the facts and then make a decision whichever it may be. If the man knows that this information would deter  the woman from getting physically involved with him, he may be inclined not to tell her. By not telling the woman both of those things he would be undermining her autonomy. Without all the information, he is taking away her right to choose for herself based on the possible consequences her actions would lead to. She cannot make a true (true to herself, what she does and does not believe in) choice without knowing everything and knowing what may happen depending on what she chooses to do. These two things should be shared because it is a mutual respect both people should honor.

If two people are casually dating( been on a couple dates) there should be more information discussed. Religious beliefs, personal interest, and what they do for a living etc. These two people don't need to divulge their entire life story or their deepest emotions. But criminal acts should be said before the relationship goes any further. If things like that are not said in the beginning, the other person could find out and could create upset for bother parties down the road. Divulging to much on a date could make it awkward and put to much pressure on the relationship. Desires for a wedding and things like that should wait until the relationship is fully committed and they have been together for a while.

Casual Fling/ Long Term Principles

                               Casual

• Anything related to health should be disclosed
• A general explanation of prior experiences involving relationships and other interpersonal circumstances should only be disclosed when presented with the subject.
• Any intentions or interests in the path or outcome that will follow the act regarding the expectations of commitment should always be disclosed to both person's during the fling. I.E If you plan is to not be together, let the other person know that.
• In the case of a casual fling where the personal obligations, situations, and circumstances of one person do not affect the other, it is not necessary to disclose facts and beliefs that can turn the other person off.

                          Long Term

• A general explanation of prior experiences involving relationships and other interpersonal circumstances should always be disclosed.
• Personal obligations, situations, and personal beliefs should always be disclosed.

For further clarification check out our diagram.

<a href="http://www.softschools.com/math/venn_diagram/venn_diagram_maker/">Venn Diagram Maker</a>

Eric Urena 

Jose Collado

Thounsa Kearse

Luis Gallego

Group Blog 1: Sexual Morality

Sexual morality is an extremely sensitive topic and it is commonly believed that there is no distinct line that separates sexual morality from sexual immorality. A particularly controversial subject is that which we will call “romantic disclosure”. In other words, the information about oneself that they are either morally obligated or not morally obligated to reveal prior to entering, or during, a romantic relationship. There are two crucial variables to consider when differentiating between what is morally right or wrong in regards to romantic disclosure. The first is the application of normative ethical principles in order to effectively draw a definite line between right and wrong, and the second is simply the nature of the relationship. Utilitarianism is especially useful in this case because its guiding principle is easily applicable to romantic disclosure.

Utilitarian’s believe that one should always act in a manner that generates the most happiness for themselves and those around them. So in the case of romantic disclosure, it is clear that any omissions by either participant entering (or already in) a relationship that impedes their partners happiness would be considered immoral. In contrast, if this omission has no negative effect on the uninformed person, then there is no reason that this lack of disclosure should be deemed immoral. For example, if a woman enters, what she believes will be, a long term relationship with a guy who is a wanted fugitive, who chooses to keep his criminal record a secret, then the woman is in danger of being arrested and sent to jail for harboring a fugitive. Assuming that prison is not an objective for the woman, this will obviously obstruct her happiness and the act of omission in this case is therefore immoral. In contrast, if the fugitive told the girl that he was on the run from justice then it can be assumed that she would not consent to entering a relationship with the man and although the possibility of being arrested would no longer exist, the man would be deprived of the pleasure he sought to have with the woman. But if the nature of the relationship is manipulated, specifically it's duration, then the fugitives status as an escaped convict can be made irrelevant. Let's assume that the two met in a hotel bar while traveling, spent the night together, and went separate ways in the morning heading towards opposite sides of the country. Under these circumstances, the girl is no longer in danger of being arrested although she is still unaware that the inmate she had a very brief relationship with was a runaway.

It is clear now, that the information one has to or does not have to disclose depends directly on the type of relationship the two participants seek while the use of normative ethical principles assists in creating a definite line between right and wrong. Even basic information commonly believed to be an absolute necessity, such as a first and last name, can be proven irrelevant if given the right circumstances. There are an infinite number of situations in which a person can find reasons why certain information should be declared as a moral obligation to disclose before or during a relationship and other information should not. But the basic principles previously listed will give legitimacy to any argument in which any circumstance is evaluated.

 

 

 

Geoffrey Kiarie

Mike Mauriello
Sarah Fay
Jahmari Erkerd

Disclosure

Kathleen Abouzeide

Julia Bruneau

Jackie Faugno
Iesha Stroud

Casual flings shouldn’t take place because, from a Kantian standpoint, a casual fling would undermine your own and the partner’s rationality and autonomy. Therefore, disclosure is not necessary in casual flings because all casual flings are immoral. In other words, if you do not intend to be with said person then don’t get involved. Kant’s claim that The Moral Law is universal and implies that morality applies to all people in the same way at all the time. It doesn’t change due to our whims or inclinations. Consequently, a lack of sexual attention or increased libido is not reason enough have a casual fling and compromise another’s morality.

Committed or not, Kant believes that deception undermines another person’s rationality, therefore things like disclosing age are a must. If you were to keep something like age a secret, regardless if you are older or younger, the outcome could be detrimental. For example, if you are older and pretend to be younger, you could later be convicted of statutory rape and you, yourself, could be the victim of a statutory crime if you deceive your partner into believing you are older than you appear. However according to Kant, the intention behind an action is what determines whether it is ethical, not the consequences of the action. So, the only reason you would lie about your age is because you believe that the false age is more attractive to your potential partner. The only motivation is to make yourself more appealing, all in all, deceiving the other person and violating the person’s rationality.

It is not however, necessary to disclose every detail of past relationships no matter how much you are pressured. Kant believes that morality sometimes requires us to act contrary to the majority of the people. So, if your partner and his or her family continue to ask for the minute specifics of your former relationship, it is seen as moral to keep them to yourself. You may be sparing your partner’s feelings and decreasing the potential anxiety they would feel if they could compare their current relationship with your previous ones.

Romance and Disclosure                              Tonishia Signore

                                                                                                Mike Tully

                                                                                                Taylor Chaturvedi

1a) In certain instances there is a difference between disclosure in a “fling” and disclosure in something that’s expected to be long term. 1b) However certain major life style facts should always be disclosed.

- In example of the first statement (1a); it’s not important to discuss your job/ career or salary in instances of a “fling”. However you would want to disclose these facts in something which is intended to be long term.

- In example of the second statement (1b); in all circumstances it should be disclosed whether or not you are married or engaged.

2) In further discussion of the theory:

 a) There are certain things which should always be disclosed, these are categorized as; something which could physically, mentally, or emotionally cause any kind of harm to the other person, or yourself.  (I.e. STD’s/STI’s)

b) There are certain things which should be disclosed in a long term relationships, but that do not play a role in a “fling”. These are categorized as; something that does not need to be shared in a “fling” because it will make no difference, causes no harm, nor effects any relations in a “fling”. (I.e. a person’s political views or their relationship with their family)

c) There are certain things which are not required to be discussed in either kind of relationship which would be defined by; Any personal events which happened in the past and are traumatizing to the extent that it would cause some sort of harm to bring the events to light. (This harm can be physical, emotional, or mental)

Group Blog Post #1 – Romance and Disclosure

Jeff Latimer, Damon Land, Alexa True, Michael Grava

Group 1

When we become romantically involved with another person we somewhat take responsibility for this person's emotions.  There are critical things to consider when choosing what is appropriate and whether it is necessary to disclose certain information.  The most significant element of these deciding factors is the seriousness of the relationship. . 

 Casual flings are perfectly acceptable and are normal occurrences in a person’s life. If the relationship is strictly sexual the only crucial information to be disclosed is if you have an STD, for the obvious reason that this could be potentially physically and mentally harmful to the other person. An STD has the potential to do enormous harm to a person’s life and someone is carrying an STD should always let his/her partner know before they have sex so that proper precautions can be taken. One may argue that sharing information such as marital status is important because it may be against the other person’s beliefs to cheat or be involved in any activity of that sort. Most people believe in the commitment of marriage do not want to make someone cheat.  Disclosing too much information on a one night stand can lead to awkwardness.  A strictly sexual relationship only requires a physical relationship.  Sharing extensive information would only create emotional involvement. Furthermore, the other person has already made the judgment to become sexually involved with someone they don’t know any personal details about. 

Serious and long-term relationships have a contrasting system because hiding information causes a break in trust, which leads to relationship failure.  We generally respect those who we become emotionally involved with, so as a sign of respect for this person it is necessary that we disclose any information that could be considered relevant or controversial to the relationship such as; marital status, children, mental disorders, or drug use. They should share their expectations for the relationship and where they see it going. In long term relationships it is also important to know if they had been in love before, if they ever cheated before, if they have pets or kids, and the things they are looking for in the future. In order for any long term relationships to be successful there has to be communication in which information is disclosed. The intentions of the relationship need to be discussed and future planning as well, though the timing of this should not be too early in the relationship where I feel the decisions will be heavily more emotional based, or too late in a relationship when expectations are already set.  There are many other things to consider when it comes to disclosing information to your significant other, whether you just met them or they have been in your life for quite some time. If a person feels uncomfortable when talking about certain things, why ask questions pertaining to that subject? The best thing to do is to be completely honest from the beginning so that way there is no confusion. If something is said at the wrong time or misunderstood, that could ruin the chance with that other person. Something that should not be disclosed is how many people the other person has slept with. For example, a guy and lady have been seeing each other for about a year. The guy asks the lady how many people she has been with and she is uncomfortable telling him. It shouldn't matter how many people the other person's been with, what matters is they have been together for enough time to form a relationship and allow each other to trust one another. If the number of people she says she has slept with is higher than the number he had in her mind, then thoughts start to run through the brain of the concerned partner.

Romantic Involvements

Alexandra Spencer

Victoria Murphy

William Vasquez

Group #4

            Romantic involvements can be a complicated thing and deciding what should be disclosed, what does not need to be disclosed, and what needs to be disclosed under certain circumstances. Things that our group felt always needs to be disclosed when romantic involved with someone especially in a long term or serious relationship are things like STDs, past relationships, any prior engagements or marriages, if they have any kids. What are their basic beliefs as far as any religious background. Employment status if they have a job and what kind of job. Means of transportation do they have a car and a license, we would want to know why if they did not because it could mean they have had DUIs. Also a big thing would be if they have any of criminal records, would not want to date anyone that could be potentially dangerous. Both people’s expectations need to be disclosed, if they want a serious relationship or if they are just looking for something casual. Where this person is going in their life meaning with their job and if they are in college and working towards something or are just in a dead end job going nowhere. Expectations in both types of relationships either serious or not would there would need to be respect, responsibility, and monogamy and faithfulness towards the other partner. The male in our group felt that beliefs do not need to be disclosed and the two female did so this could be a borderline argument depending if you are male or female.

            As far as things that never need to be disclosed would be the amount of income a person generates. Another thing that would not be disclosed would be the sharing of a person’s private possessions like going through a person’s phone, computer, wallet or purse. A borderline argument would be going through a person’s phone because if they are being sneaky about their phone or computer that could mean they are being unfaithful. This argument also depends on if you are in a serious or short term relationship. If it was short term this might not matter as much but in a long term it can be very important to a relationship.

            Things that depend on the circumstances would depend if you are in a serious committed relationship or if it is something that is casual or short term. For short term or casual relationships we felt that not everything needs to be disclosed right away. Obvious things that do need to be disclosed right away are STDs, or other illnesses anything that could potentially harm the other person. We would want to know if the person has a job and what kind of job, as in are they in college and working towards something or do they just have a minimum wage paying job. Things that do not necessarily have to be disclosed in the short term would be past relationships, beliefs, and talking about the future things like marriage and kids might turn a person off.  Depending on the circumstances a person may want to know their social circles like what kind of people they hang out with because this could reflect on the person this could also be a borderline argument of something that may be very important and not as important to some people.                                          

Relationship Status

Amanda Vergara

Cooper Dubuque

Gabriella Sampaio

Group 8

When entering into a sexual or romantic relationship there are many different obligations that need to be taken into account. No matter if the relationship is just a casual fling or the complete opposite, a long term relationship, there are still obligations that one must follow. Although some of these obligations may differ with the severity of the relationship. A casual fling consists of just hooking up here and there. The obligations that are due to each other are completely different in casual fling than those in a long term relationship. A long term relationship consist of the thought that, the relationship will continue to grow forward and there will be more obligations as things get more serious.

Participants in a casual sexual relationship should assume less obligations and commitment to one another than in long term relationship. Its the nature of casual relationships, being less serious, that attracts people looking for casual relationships and the company from the opposite sex; not interested in being confined or accountable by a complex or serious relationship. In pursuit of keeping it casual, less disclosure is appropriate. Exposing relationships or other romantic interests would be immaterial to those expectations and goals of a casual relationship. Religion or other personal traits that could be detrimental to some people in a long term relationship shouldn't affect casual encounters. Basically only admitting to having an STD which would cause lingering physical harm is a moral obligation. If a member of a casual relationship begins changing their expectations to a more serious romantic relationship, they should disclose that to their partner, to avoid confusion and potentially hurt feelings.

In a long term relationship partners are more serious and that has many obligations that should be discussed. As in a casual fling STD’s should be talked about before becoming physically involved. Things like religion might be an important issue to disclose, incase of strong religious beliefs that may cause issues in the future. Other important things to discuss would be marriage and children. If both people are not on the same page about marriage it would not be a good idea to be in a long term relationship together. Disagreeing about marriage could lead to problems when one partner is ready to commit and the other is not. Some other issues that could arise is if the relationship ends in marriage and one partner does not want marriage. This will lead to divorce and will cause a money loss and a waste of time. If people are on the same page before hand no hardship will come. Having children is also another big issue that people should be on the same page before hand. A criminal record should be disclosed with a partner before becoming committed in a long term relationship. A person should know about a criminal record because it can affect the future of the other person.

Things that do not need to be discussed for a long term relationship are past relationships; unless they involve having a child. Past relationships could bring up issues that are not relevant in the new relationship. Also are menial things such as food preferences and clothing preferences.

In a casual fling there are not many things that should be discussed. The more serious a relationship becomes the more partners should disclose to each other. A long term relationship involves partners to discuss important information that would lead to a successful relationship. Therefore the more serious things become the more partners should know about each other. 

Group 2 Blog Post 2

Michael Flanagan

                Mads T. Larsen

                Marissa Ortiz

                Cody Fitelson

Within romantic relationships it is necessary to have trust. Determining what and what not to reveal to a partner early on is important. In long term relationships something’s need to be revealed early on in order to be fair to the partner, however some things are ok to keep a secret until later on. Within short term relationships not much is important in the long run so most information can be kept secret but a few things should be revealed beforehand.

                When it comes to long term relationships the group agrees that celibacy should be revealed at the start. This idea relates back to religious views and cultural background.  This is because no one should invest time in a relationship if they aren’t going to get all they expect out of it. It is necessary at the start of a relationship to reveal you intentions of the relationship and make sure that both parties are on the same page. Make sure that both are equally invested and expect the same things from the relationship.

We don’t believe it’s important to reveal at the start of your relationship all or any of your past relationships. We feel this way because this is not a factor that really impacts the relationship in anyway. Sometime in the future, past relationships can be revealed and discussed but not at the start. This gives both parties a chance at starting a stable relationship.

In a short term relationship we don’t feel it is important to reveal much of anything to the person your with, as long as general safety is enforced and you’re having fun it doesn’t matter. It’s important to reveal or discuss that both parties want the same thing from the relationship. This avoids mixed signals for a longer relationship or leading the other person on, when the other partner was only interested in a short time relationship. Otherwise issues of religion, past partners, or other things aren’t important.

In the end we feel that there are certain things that should indefinitely be revealed in certain relationships. It is common sense to be able to discuss the importance of anything in your life but in other instances not everything has to be discussed, unless you want to be serious with someone and both are on the same page.