Jeff Latimer, Damon Land, Alexa True, Michael Grava
Group 1
When we become romantically involved with another person we somewhat take responsibility for this person's emotions. There are critical things to consider when choosing what is appropriate and whether it is necessary to disclose certain information. The most significant element of these deciding factors is the seriousness of the relationship. .
Casual flings are perfectly acceptable and are normal occurrences in a person’s life. If the relationship is strictly sexual the only crucial information to be disclosed is if you have an STD, for the obvious reason that this could be potentially physically and mentally harmful to the other person. An STD has the potential to do enormous harm to a person’s life and someone is carrying an STD should always let his/her partner know before they have sex so that proper precautions can be taken. One may argue that sharing information such as marital status is important because it may be against the other person’s beliefs to cheat or be involved in any activity of that sort. Most people believe in the commitment of marriage do not want to make someone cheat. Disclosing too much information on a one night stand can lead to awkwardness. A strictly sexual relationship only requires a physical relationship. Sharing extensive information would only create emotional involvement. Furthermore, the other person has already made the judgment to become sexually involved with someone they don’t know any personal details about.
Serious and long-term relationships have a contrasting system because hiding information causes a break in trust, which leads to relationship failure. We generally respect those who we become emotionally involved with, so as a sign of respect for this person it is necessary that we disclose any information that could be considered relevant or controversial to the relationship such as; marital status, children, mental disorders, or drug use. They should share their expectations for the relationship and where they see it going. In long term relationships it is also important to know if they had been in love before, if they ever cheated before, if they have pets or kids, and the things they are looking for in the future. In order for any long term relationships to be successful there has to be communication in which information is disclosed. The intentions of the relationship need to be discussed and future planning as well, though the timing of this should not be too early in the relationship where I feel the decisions will be heavily more emotional based, or too late in a relationship when expectations are already set. There are many other things to consider when it comes to disclosing information to your significant other, whether you just met them or they have been in your life for quite some time. If a person feels uncomfortable when talking about certain things, why ask questions pertaining to that subject? The best thing to do is to be completely honest from the beginning so that way there is no confusion. If something is said at the wrong time or misunderstood, that could ruin the chance with that other person. Something that should not be disclosed is how many people the other person has slept with. For example, a guy and lady have been seeing each other for about a year. The guy asks the lady how many people she has been with and she is uncomfortable telling him. It shouldn't matter how many people the other person's been with, what matters is they have been together for enough time to form a relationship and allow each other to trust one another. If the number of people she says she has slept with is higher than the number he had in her mind, then thoughts start to run through the brain of the concerned partner.
I liked the introduction and the observation that the seriousness of the relationship is the key to what should and should not be revealed. I agree you should reveal marital status even if its a quick fling, because the partner may not want to be an acomplice to cheating. This is an idea that I had not thought of. I also agree that there is different time frames even in a long term relationship in which you reveal information and that somethings can wait until later on. I viewed most of these points in the same way.
ReplyDeleteI would have to disagree with you about the second paragraph. I believe that if you are married or in a committed relationship you should absolutely disclose that information, regardless of how awkward it would make the situation. As you stated, many people do not want to be the 'other person' and be responsible for ruining a marriage or relationship, and it is unfair to them if you allow them to unknowingly be that person. I do agree with your last paragraph and what should be discussed with a long term partner.
ReplyDeleteI liked the points that you made. You did a good job in essentially outlining necessary and unnecessary information to be disclosed in both casual and long term relationships. The only criticism I have is that, in a long term relationship, you claim that certain information shouldn’t be disclosed too early or too late, but you don’t say when such information should be disclosed. This seems like a critical omission because in your paper you say that timing is crucial in order to avoid awkwardness, misunderstandings, or even ruining the relationship.
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